nekare

Today's my parents' 20th anniversary. Yayz for them!! Dad even got her roses :))

I didn't say this yesterday because I was still freaking out, but here goes: I came home yesterday at about 9:30, feeling crappy because of this flu that refuses to either start or be done with, and there was no one here. So I was all pissy and I bitched in my head at how no one bothered to leave something out for me to dinner and couldn't they even prepare some chocolate milk for me? even when I knew it was incredibly selfish of me. Then mom calls, and she says they won't come home until 12, because Memo (my brother) was with one of his best friends and they wanted to make time till they had to pick him up, so I act all prissy and say 'but it's monday just what is he doing there? and he's grounded!' and mom's voice almost breaks and she says 'his mother just died.'

I never met the lady, and I only talked to her once over the phone, but I know her son, and he already has no father and he just lost everything, and I was there complaining about dinner. I just feel real bad about it, about him, too, and Memo's all shaken. I was jumpy the rest of the night, and I couldn't go to sleep until everyone arrived at past 1 am, and even then I dreamed about a lot of deaths of imagined people and then my actual dead greatgrandmother was still alive, and guh, but I didn't rest at all, and I've been tired, and sick, and sad all day long. Mom and Memo went to the mass this morning, at my old middle school, and since Memo's only been out of there for half a year all of his old classmates went and apparently, everyone cried a lot.

That's why seeing what sazzlette wrote for me (OMG S/R and sooo wonderful)and spooy's most recent post (DANCING SNAPE. Indiana Remus. Totoro!beanie Ron. Guh.) has lighten my day so much. :))) Love you, guys. All of you. *cuddles flist*

(and spooy, a curse on you. I just can't get 'let's get physical' out of my head. XDDDD )