nekare

Well today I read this comic, and then promptly started sobbing.

I have been reading Lucy Knisley's comics for four or five years now, and seeing how sad her break up comic was, it was certainly a reaction for her and her life as well.

But. It was mostly about me. Part 'god, that's beautiful,' part 'maybe there's hope for me yet' and part of the inevitable thought that after eight months apart with little to no contact, as if the boy just wanted me gone from his life already, I will probably not see him again.

It still hurts so fucking much - I've been thinking about him and dreaming about him non stop for the past week, I just can't seem to let go. and I'm still so confused and hurt about how it ended. And I'm still so infuriatingly in love with him, and I get random thoughts of him barefoot making tea in his parent's kitchen, or being grumpy about one thing or another; stuff that used to make me smile randomly in the middle of the day, and that now just makes me sad.

I just don't know how to forget about him, and it makes me sad and angry at the same time because my life has being a lot better as of lately, and yet I still feel miserable a part of the time.