I so need to make up my mind. [nekare]

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My parents want to change my car, for a silver focus that had been used for someone in my dad's company. What's the problem then, you may ask?

I'm weird. I don't want to. I want to keep my chevy.

I know bitched for weeks on end about it being manual, and as unelectrical as you can get, and yet here I am, bitching now because now I like it to no end. It's just cute, and red, and small (which is good since I suck at calculating space). It only has like 23 000 kilometers, it's 2003 and it looks wonderful and new and beautiful.

And all right, the focus is automatic, which is what I wanted at the beginning, but now I've found I actually like changing gears, it's fun, and that car has like 150 000 kms and it's well, pretty much run down and not well kept, and it has a radio, which mine don't. I just, I don't know what to do, my parents were really surprised that I was hesitant (they apparently thought I'd jump down the street and hug the new car... Which I didn't.), and they keep giving me weird looks, probably wondering about my mental state.

*sigh* What should I do? Someone from my dad's work wants it too, so it won't be up for grabs for much longer.

*cough* On other news, I'm writing this dark!fic for

darkones' end of year challenge, Unhappy Endings. I'm not sure what I'm doing, since I still don't know what will the unhappy ending be. Oh well, I'll be starting the sequel to the Pirate!Marauders fic today, or tomorrow at least. Again, I've no idea what will it be about XD

And

moonix, what about the exchange? I'm all up for it, so people, start giving us promts.

And before I forget it! Wonder at my new icon. It's beautiful, lovable, and it was made by

beautifulphrase! And as a thanks gift: Electronic tango for her. People, try it out, it's wonderful.

Montserrat - Bajofondo Tango Club. This one just steals my breath away. And:
Naranjo en Flor - Bajofondo Tango Club. I so adore this one, I kept on singing it for like a complete week when I first heard it.

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There are 41 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

stole your music :P thanks!

I'd keep the chevy. But I'm partial to vehicles without the f-word on them. *g* But if you're happy with it, really, i'd keep it.

Hope you liked it!

I think I'll keep it, I just drove it, and it just feels so lovely in there. I don't know I just like really small cars...

BUT, when I was coming home, I kinda got mixed with the gears (still! God, just when am I going to master the thing?) and since I was going up, the car almost went back against the next one. So I had a horrible fright, and well, I got insulted in typical mexican fashion. I deserved it, though.

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lol -- I've been able to drive a straight for years, even though my cars tend to be automatic b/c it's hard to do mommy stuff & have to shift gears at the same time, but I still have problems once in a while. I hate hills. And stoplights. And especially stoplights on hills....

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I can imagine, I was never such an hyperactive kid (you could just give me a book and I wouldn't speak for a few hours), but moms all around the world have my utter respect from being able to control a screaming (I wanted the bunny!! I wanted the bunny!! Mom I want candy! Mom, my brother hit me! Liar!) child and driving at the same time. *shudder*

What was worse it's that it was a train cross. Thank God the train wasn't nowhere to be seen, but still...

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I'm biased, but manuel cars run a lot longer (at least, my little honda does) If you're kind to it, it'll go for over lets see, new in 91, its almost 2006 and no signs of stopping - so 15 years.
over all, I'd say trust thine intstincts.

And this one's almost new too, and bright and lovely, and the focus I'd have to change in one year, two tops. I'm almost sure of keeping it, but then there's the point in which I'm still having problems with the gears. I'm much better than a month ago, of course, but well, there's that to consider.

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Woah, easy there. Could I maybe finish my requests first, please? *g* Really, as soon as I'm done, I'll let you know. Perhaps, since blanketforts is starting quite soon, we could even combine those two and use one of the prompts there, so we don't end up having to do both at the same time?

Oh, all right; I shall be merciful and give you time. XD

I like that idea, actually, and what if for at least some days, (since I don't think I can do the entire month) one of us start with the prompt of the day, and the other one continues it?

I've wanted to write something like this for ages and so far everyone in my writing class were too lazy to write back.

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Thank you, oh great master, I will be a good girl from now on.

Yeah, or we could... hmm... I don't know. Try to write a longer story of about 2 - 4 (or more, haha) chapters where we include one prompt per chapter (not necessarily in the right prompt order)... Or... I don't know... WE COULD TOTALLY, LIKE, WRITE A PIRATE STORY TOGETHER. *g* Only pirates don't really fit in with winter. BAH, WHAT THE HELL. *shrugs*

I'm sorta confused now. Maybe we'd better decide this later when I've entangled my brain again. *g*

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...You're in a writing class?

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Oh, pirate story together would kick ass!! But AUs are so damn hard to do (I'll just write a little sequel and dream of Pirate!Remus for the rest of my life.) Although they could totally be freezing in that cold, cold ship; and they'd need each others warmth as to not die...

Take your time, holidays do know how to mangle one's mind. XD

And yeah, I've been going there for the last semester, and it's ROCKED hard. That's the only reason I wrote so many original stories, actually, 'cause they were asignments, (I even wrote about zombies!! Motorcycle riding zombies!) and it's really been good for my writing. Al least for my spanish writing, anyway ^-^

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Ooooh, yes. And they're shipwrecked somewhere together (ALONE) and they're so stubborn and throw insults at each other from the other end of the room, fighting for the ONLY blanket they have, until they realize that they'll have to share to keep from freezing to death... In truth, they only refuse to come near each other because deep down they're afraid that they won't stand the closeness and get all hot and bothered and that would be fatal, now wouldn't it? *snickers* They are so adorable, those two. Ooooh and let's make Lily find and save them, okay? *bounces*

"Mangle one's mind", oh yeah. That's a beautiful Velvet Goldmine phrase, actually.

I know what you mean with good for your writing, I've been going to German writing classes for two years now, this is my third. Although my teacher is not exactly the most imaginative person on Earth and I don't really like her that much, I've also found a few friends and we organize a reading once a year, so that's really good.

Dinner's ready now, but I'll come back later :)

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Oh, me likes the idea!! And then Sirius would get a splinter in his arse! (or not. sex would be good though. Only not explicit 'cause I'd blush to death...) and I so love the idea of Lily finding them! and denying them a blanket until they settle their differences XD

Really? huh, must've gotten it from 'Fairy Boys'. I just love the way it sounds. And I got so angry with myself the other day, when I finally remembered I was supposed to look for Velvet Goldmine in the states *facepalm*

That sounds cool! The bad part is that must of my classmates are ladies ranking from 40 to 60. There's only like, five teenagers in there, so our stories are usually the, er, riskier ones. Ah, I wish I knew German so I could read your stuff T-T

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Ahahahahaha, and Remus would have to remove it XD Only, of course, Sirius is too proud to pull his trousers down in front of Captain Lupin/ admit he's in pain/ ask for help anyway. Or, let's just say, maybe he somehow gets injured on a thigh (very far up, of course *evil grin*), so it won't get TOO embarrassing but he'll nevertheless have to undress in front of Lupin who oh-so-conveniently has a good idea about healing and medicine and bandages and all and who can't stand to hear his whining and complaining anymore, oh and he's bleeding on his precious trousers, dammit. *g* (You can imagine what happens when Captain Lupin's gentle hands gently wrap a bandage around his thigh, gently brushing his bare skin.... bwahaha.)

Oh shit, 40-60 really doesn't sound funny. The project I'm in calls itself Student Academy, which just means that all the Grammar Schools of our city offer certain courses to their students - courses that only one or two students from every school would take, so they take all those students from the different schools and put them together in one course, which then takes place at one of those schools. My fellow writers are all about the same age as me, and we're never more than ten people, usually five to seven, so that's pretty good.

*blushes* Heh. Well. My German stories aren't really better than my English ones, just different. But I know what you mean - I'd love to be able to read your Spanish stuff. *sighs* But I do want to learn Spanish sometime, maybe at University. :)

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Oh, you naughty girl! XD I have an idea, go along with me:

"Mmm... Lupin, erm, could you be done with that?"

"Why? Am I hurting you?" says Remus as he caresses the little would with care, his eyes boring into Sirius'. Sirius shudders, panting slightly with feverish skin even in the cold night. Lupin looks open, none of the Captain ferocity he shows in every other minute of the day.

Sirius swallows hard. "Mm, not exactly, but..." The statement hands in the air, and he averts his eyes, cursing the blush that speaks too much at his lack of expertise int his area. Lupin's eyes widen slightly when he finally figures out the reason of Sirius' discomfort, but the stroking on his leg doesn't stop.

Instead, Lupin's eyes turn sultry and dark, half lidded as he gets his head closer to Sirius. "Oh my," he says, and Sirius' breath quickens. "It doesn't seem like I'm able to tighten this bandage. I might have to try... Something else."

There's nothing in his face to warns Sirius when he suddenly dips his head, teeth grazing heated skin and closing around the white bandage, tightening it slowly as Sirius groans in despair. Lupin takes his time, and when he finally lifts himself to Sirius height, the dark boy feels as if he's about to burst.

Lupin smiles predatory, and says:

Hehe, up to you, my dear!

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Ohfuckinghell. *hyperventilates* I've got an army of butterflies in my stomach now, you know. Woah. WOAH. So hot. EEK! The bandage! I CAN'T BREATHE, DAMMIT! XD *drools*

On with the story. Don't want poor Sirius to burst, do we?

Lupin smiles predatory, and says: "Tight enough?"

Sirius has to bite his lip to keep from making another embarrassing sound and nods, eyes closed and breath shallow and heated. He feels turned upside-down, confused, overwhelmed, and his body isn't trembling from the cold anymore. Lupin's fingers trace the edge of the bandage, teasing, circling, like an animal of prey. They accidentally seem to slip down the inside of his thigh once, and Sirius bangs his upper body back into the wall as though he wants to fall through it.

"Feel better now?" Lupin asks casually. His eyes are focused on Sirius' face and his cheeks burst into flame as he realizes that Lupin can see everything in his dark, scorching eyes slanted by coal, so he closes them again.

"Yeah", he manages to croak out. He has no idea what he is supposed to do, say. Hopes Lupin doesn't see that. He can't help but look at him again - the saltwatercurled, sunbleached hair softly drizzling forward across his shoulders, touching his face, the souldeep and alcohol-pure eyes.

To his astonishment, Lupin seems puzzled.

"What?" he says, feeling control streaming back to him like ropes knotting together in his hands. "You", Lupin begins, frowns. "You didn't do anything."

"What was I supposed to do? Rape you?" Sirius asks, irritated, and laughs a bit, but the look on Lupin's face definitely doesn't reject the stupid joke. "Well how do I know what you bloody well want if you just sit there and space out?" Lupin bites back and starts to retreat back to his side of the room.

"Wait", Sirius says.

Your turn! :) Seems like Lupin isn't used to sexual passiveness, eh? *g* Have fun, darling!

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Ohhh... *takes a deep breathe* oh wow. So sorry for the grammar, btw, I didn't spell check at all. All righto, here we go!

Lupin turns sharply, eyes ablaze with anger and the only oil lamp in the room, swinging from the ceiling with the same rhythm as the ocean. “What?” he asks, and Sirius’ entrails feel as if they’re going to enter some kind of gymnastic team.

Sirius starts crawling on all fours, the little wound on his thigh protesting with every movement, but he ignores it as he goes closer to Lupin, who is crouched in the middle of the room, keeping their eyes locked. Sirius swallows, once, twice, and then they’re just inches apart.

“Um, I, well, I’m not used to- oh, fuck it-” Sirius crushes his lips to Lupin’s before he can say anything, hard and needy, just the same as Lupin bringing him closer, a forearm wound tightly around his neck. A cold hand slips under his old white-yellow shirt, and he gasps, too much air filling his lungs in a rush.

They open their eyes, and Sirius can’t contain a shiver when he sees the smile on Lupin’s face, the half-closed eyes. He can feel Lupin’s short intakes of breath against his face, the throaty laugh as he says “well isn’t that much better, my little pet?”

Sirius suddenly feels like punching him in the face, but then,

Hehe, cliff-hanger. Go on dear, make the hotness happen XD

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Whee! So much aggressiveness... mmm. Damn you for always stopping at places like these. Well, see what you get. HA!

Sirius suddenly feels like punching him in the face, but then his more pacifistic arms push Lupin to the floor and hold his wrists pinned against the rough-patterned wood.

"Who just practically begged me to rape them?" he whispers and grinds his waist against Lupin's. The wound in his leg stings, but Lupin moans and bucks his hips involuntarily and it's all Sirius needs to lean down and kiss him again, biting the other's lower lip and pressing their tongues together.

Their quick and hard breaths seem to have no space anymore. Lupin's eyes fall shut, dark-light lashes striking long shadows across his cheekbones, and when they draw apart, his lips are open and red and needy. Sirius moves slowly against Lupin's body, rubbing a little as though he is bored, then he licks a wet-hot trail down the bared, cream-coloured throat and nibbles at his neck. The next sound he gets is a short, desperate cry that almost shoves him over the edge.

He still holds his wrists tightly in his grasp, they will be bruised later but Lupin asks for it as he arches his back, crushing their bodies together, and Sirius doesn't think he will last long. Lead by his desire, he knows how to slide along Lupin's firm thigh for maximum pleasure, knows how he has to play the other for sounds, like an instrument.

He has the control, the power. Power over a Captain he's felt inferior to since forever. And it feels good. He looks at Lupin's rather pink cheeks, the mussed hair, the way he's chewing on his lower lip and whimpers -

And suddenly finds himself flipped onto his back with Lupin straddling him and smirking.

Wahahaha - now make something out of THAT. ;)

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Oh God, you're after my heart. You want to give me an aneurism, don't you? Erm, I meant, steamy. real steamy. And uh, you did request a virgin...

Sirius’ eyes open wide, and he just stays there for a second, panting and wanting and needing; but suddenly afraid of the turn of events.

“Well, that was good enough for a beginner, I guess,” Lupin says languidly, his fingers straying to unbutton Sirius’ ruffled shirt but his eyes never leaving Sirius’ grey ones.

Sirius tenses up, and Lupin smirks broader, if that’s even possible. Lupin leans down for a kiss, an almost sweet one, amidst the chaos of limbs and clothes and half concealed weapons; but Sirius stays rigid. “Wha- how did you-” Sirius babbles, and then his own words register. “Wait! I’m not-” And all right, he is, but certainly Lupin doesn’t need to know that.

Lupin silences him with a kiss, and Sirius brain starts paying attention to more important things, such as Lupin’s tongue in his mouth and the way the dim light brings Lupin’s hair alive, only to darken it with shadows on the next wave the ship rides. Lupin finally finishes unbuttoning his shirt, and he pulls Sirius up as to finally get it off, bringing him level with him, but with Sirius’ legs still trapped beneath him.

The new position brings friction with it, and Sirius sees sparks behind his eyelids, the deep blues of the ocean, the reds of the Caribbean, the grays he left behind back in England. His arms wrap around Lupin’s neck, and the Captain laughs. “Yes, you are, but isn’t in a pirate’s job description the deflower-y of young maids?”

Sirius’ brain is too devoid of blood to form an intelligent retort to that, so he settles for biting Lupin in the shoulder, stomach threatening to desert him as Lupin shivers in his arms. “Wait,” Sirius says, and stops.

“Oh no, pet, no turning back.” says Lupin hurriedly, his hands flat against Sirius’ back.

“No, really, wait. My legs are asleep.”

sorry for the crappiness, gotta run.

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Haha, yay for the virgin. Poor Sirius... XD Wahaha. And dang for his legs. Things like that always have to happen, do they? Then again... maybe not... *idea*

"Shit", Lupin says and stands up halfway, letting go of him and stepping to the side. Sirius notes with some satisfaction that his cheeks are red and his hands tremble, and while Lupin begins to rummage in his trouser pocket for something, Sirius pounces.

"Never trust a pirate when he says really", Sirius smirks down at the bewildered Captain in whose eyes anger and protest bloom like wild flowers. Their faces are close again now, body heat spirals off into Sirius' lungs and his attempts to breathe become feeble and clumsy. He can't help but start to move his hips again, jerkily, as if he's trying to hold back.

A miserable moan drips from his lips. Lupin uses this opportunity to free his hands and pull the shirt away that hangs off Sirius's shoulders. His hot skilled fingers steer towards his chest like a fleet of ships, commanded by a Captain who knows his way around... a Captain like Lupin.

"Am I going to be the first to touch you there?" Lupin whispers hoarsely and one of his hands plays with the band of his trousers while the other rubs a rosy nipple. "A-ah... no", Sirius pants, but his hips press against Lupin's hand and tell him the truth.

The next roll of waves beneath the ship bump him against his thigh, his arms almost fold in on themselves by the jolt of desire and pain. He can't breathe.

And then Lupin says, "Pirates like a pretty face like yours, but they love even more to break you open, lay you bare... I wonder... have you made any bad experiences, pretty boy?"

Sirius winces and buries his head in Lupin's jacket. Unwanted memories of groping hands, rough voices and a knife burn anew in his mind, the ripping of clothes, the dark, the terrified seventeen year old runaway and thank Neptune Potter saved him, but he feels the big flat hand in his trousers and the arms holding him tightly, it hurts... This time, his moan is pained, not born out of ecstasy, and Lupin looks at him.

He curses his tear-smeared cheeks and wants to hide his face, but Lupin pulls at his hair and grips his defiant chin.

"Dear oceans, I was right", he says, not surprised by this in the least. Sirius glares at him, humiliated enough on one day to last him a lifetime. And yet he doesn't want to leave.

Now, I think I've written enough... :) Now we know the reason why Sirius hasn't "deflowered" anybody in the course of his pirate career, heh... Maybe Lupin should give him some good experiences to keep the balance, then. *smirks*

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Damn you, you're giving it plot! oh well, it was time it happened. And poor, poor Sirius, if I didn't know you better I'd say you don't like it much...

“Well you can’t stop the altruist act right now, it doesn’t become you, m’ dear Captain.” Sirius says lifting his chin a bit more, setting his jaw with all the determination he can muster while sitting against the wall of a cargo room in a moving ship, with tears staining his cheeks.

Lupin’s eyes come alive with rage instantly. “Don’t you dare,” he hisses, his face close to Sirius’. “Don’t you dare trivialize me, as if I didn’t really care.”

“Well I don’t need your care. I am not going to live my life by that only incident, and I am never going to accept anyone’s pity over it.” Sirius spits the words, says them a tad higher that he wants too, but James’ the only one fully aware of his insecurities, and he’ll be damned if he turns to a half-stranger for comfort. Sirius is panting, irate, needy and so very pissed off, so he does the only thing that makes sense in his blood-deprived brain.

He shoves his hand inside Lupin’s pants.

Lupin makes as throaty sound, and Sirius bites his lips as Lupin’s hands dig into his shoulders, breathing erratic in Sirius’s ear (tingles in his belly, shocks of pleasure in his brain). “Oh fuck,” says Lupin, and Sirius wholeheartedly agrees. Lupin drags him for a kiss, one of his hands straying lower to return the favor. Sirius gasps, moans, trashes, stops breathing for all he knows; and Lupin just laughs in that hair-raising way that never ceases to play with Sirius’ mind.

“Play with fire, pretty boy, and you might get burned,” says Lupin against his lips, and Sirius throws every remaining ounce of common sense to the winds. He pulls the moaning Captain Lupin (the one he’d heard horror stories about every since he put a foot out of England, the one every single man of every single crew feared and admired and tried to imitate; the one that James had stolen a small ship from out of boredom and a challenge.) closer with his free hand, and kisses him until both of their lips are bruised-red.

“I’ll take my chances.”

Wee, that was fun! well I started the fun, it's up to you if you want to make them come already or want to make them wait a bit more.

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A bit more? Sheesh, we really torture them today, do we. *g*

"I'll take my chances."

He thinks this must be similar to doing it alone, under blankets in his hammock, while the ship rocks him gently and the sky calms him down and unwraps his mind until there's only pleasure and touch and breath, so he moves his hand in that rythm and is delighted when Lupin throws his head back and cries out again.

"Fuck you, Captain, you need this as much as I do", he pants, and Lupin's hand touches him in response. He has to force himself to focus on his own task and not get carried away too much, but it's difficult, he's almost there.

It's sheer willpower that enables him to hold back just until after Lupin whimpers (whimpers) and comes. Finally, he lets go as well, and the force of his own orgasm sweeps him away like a gigantic wave.

Pulled underwater, he's struggling to breathe, sprawled out across Lupin's heaving, warm body. Now he feels the tiredness weighing him down, and he sinks deeper into comfort and warmth and darkness, those sharp memories from earlier only a vague prickling in his chest.

Until Lupin pushes him off and he hits the floor hard. "Oww shit", he groans. His head hurts, and his leg is killing him anyway.

"S your own fault - rule number one: don't cling", Lupin says aggressively, stands up and walks to the opposite end of the room to sit down and clean himself up with a handkerchief. Sirius tries to tell himself he doesn't want to do that for him... and fails. Instead, he sits up carefully and leans against the wall. He's still sleepy, and embarrassed, and he can't believe this man found out he was a bloody virgin and the reason for that too in so short a time.

Can't believe he cried, which he only ever does when James is around, and not often, too.

Feeling quite miserable, he wipes his sleeve across his face and wonders why the hell Lupin has a handkerchief but he doesn't, when all he wants is to get clean, take some pain killers from Lily and let Harry tell him a goodnight story. (It has been that way around since Harry can speak properly.)

Actually, he realizes, he's missing his family.

Oh, got pretty much again... I'll stop now! Now... poor Sirius... you could really think I don't like him... mmm... but Lupin is just a mean bitch who's unable to open up to people because he's scared shitless of rejection, ahh... difficult. But maybe he can prove to Sirius that he does care. Or oh! One of them could have a nightmare and wake up crying... that would be sweet. But it's your story again now. ;)

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Sexay! And the part about 'don't you dare cling!' is so very amazing. So, you were asking for opening-up!Remus weren't you? let us start with the painful process.

There are two kinds of wanting, Sirius has find out. One has to do with instincts, primal and carnal and something too simple and easy. Sex. Just like that. And all right, he’s not exactly experienced in this, but that doesn’t mean he can’t understand it.

The other one, though, is far more complicated. That one’s full with uncomfortable feelings and emotions and all kind of subtle meanings that always drive man crazy. It’s about companionship and human contact and warmth; and for Sirius this will always mean food fights in the ships dining room, Lily’s wonderful teas, Harry’s stuffed dog and James’ undying trust.

So now, satisfied and still drunk from the aftertaste of the first one, he finds himself wanting something else from the distant Captain. Not exactly very manly, and not exactly easy to admit; but spending his night in a locked on the outside food-devoid room trying no to breathe as to not put the other man on edge isn’t quite what he wants.

“So,” Sirius starts, and gulps when Lupin turns to him with only half disdain in his eyes. “Erm, you did never tell me how you ended up in here.”

Lupin blinks slowly, looking somewhat confused. “But I did, the night I met you, I told you I wanted to open a bookstore.”

Sirius rolls his eyes all disappointment and anger at himself for having expected something else. “You know what, you don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t want to, Captain, but don’t treat me as a child. I know that’s a lie.”

Surprisingly, Lupin laughs. “You make such a cute moron, pet.” At Sirius’ glare, he continues. “I wasn’t lying, I did come here to open a bookstore, but things didn’t went my way, I guess.”

“You mean you actually were such a fool?”

“Well that’s not a very nice way to put it, isn’t it, but yes, I was.” Sirius notices a change in him immediately, the openness in his gaze, eyes straying somewhere at his right in reminiscence and the unprotected throat. “I was young, all wide-eyes and good intentions; looking at the ocean from the deck of the ship after I was gone with puking my entrails out and waiting for a marvelous future of old Spanish books.”

Unconsciously, Sirius moved a bit closer, waiting for an answer. “So what happened?”

“The same way everything happens, pet,” Lupin says, his eyes turning a bit sly once again. “I was kidnapped by pirates.”

Oh, that just went ahead of me. Just a thing, please don't turn Remus into a poor victim of abuse, we got our hands full with Sirius, anyway. Ohter than that, go ahead and give him a *past*

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Alright, no abuse. *g* But hee for the food fights! :D

Sirius is quiet. He doesn't like the name pet, but he feels Lupin's oyster-shell cracking open and allowing him a small glance inside at softness and purity, and he doesn't want it to stop.

"And then?" he asks instead, playing with the ring James gave him the night he begged him to let him work on the Lily. It's simple, heavy and gold, and the one thing he always wears.

Lupin laughs a bit. "I learnt how to fight, how to fuck and how to steer a ship without crashing into the nearest rock. That's all."

"What, no falling in love with ocean and adventure?" Sirius mocks, grinning a bit, and thinks of James again. He knows James has never met Lupin because either they weren't around or he wasn't, but he knows it would be a challenge, an adventure. And if Lily were here with him now, she'd probably turn him into a well-mannered, polite little boy again - she doesn't think in legends, in rumours and stories, and she sure as hell wouldn't give a fuck if Lupin was Neptune himself.

"What about you?" Lupin suddenly asks. He manages to never sound interested, or curious, or - sea forbid - in any way nice, but definitely nicer than before.

Sirius shrugs, doesn't really want to tell him about running away from a miserable home, and getting saved by Captain Potter from being raped by a handful of drunken old pirates - not to mention receiving a right thrashing from a pregnant Lily for being a stupid little boy (who claimed he was twenty, when actually he'd been seventeen) thinking he could make it on his own.

"Saved James from a tight spot and got work on the Lily", he brags instead, trying to sound nonchalant, and not like the snotty seventeen year old who got teased by the crew and couldn't hold a sword if his life depended on it.

Lupin stares at him from his corner, and Sirius thinks about his long, girly lashes, and the horrible trademark sneer. Where is that naive, wide-eyed boy with his books? he thinks, but Lupin says, "You're a terrible liar, pet", and the question drizzles to dust.

"The Lily, huh?" Lupin suddenly asks, and his heart sinks. He knows that Lupin's ship is called the Ophelia, or at least his main ship, and he doesn't have to ask about that because Sirius has had tons of books at home and he read them all. He looks away.

"Why that name?"

Whoopsie, I think I gave Sirius more of a past than I did Lupin. *ahem* Sorry. I got a little carried away, I think. Oh well! Your turn. I hope I understood correctly that Lupin, or most other pirates for that matter, doesn't have a clue there's a Lily and a Harry belonging to the great Captain James Potter, because they'd be sort of a weak spot and all.

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You're completely right, everyone has heard about the Lily, but the reason it's called like that it's one of the best kept secrets, along with Remus' soft looks. And I couldn't help laugh at the name of the ship -both my mom and my grandma are called Ofelia, (I only escaped the name by a little) and her death is my favorite scene EVER in Hamlet!

“What name? If you meant the Lily, I was hoping you could tell me.” Lupin says, and Sirius can’t help but feel a bit flustered when he realizes he had spoken his mind aloud.

“Hm, I meant the Ophelia.”

To Sirius’ surprise, Lupin looks away. “No reason.” he says with hesitance in his voice, and Sirius sees an opening. It only takes him half a second to decide to milk it for all it’s worth. He crosses the room in four large strides, still feeling dirty and squeaky in his clothes. Just before he sits beside the captain (who is rolling his eyes), he puts back his shirt, feeling much comfortable and less self-conscious with it on.

“Go on,” Sirius nudges Lupin softly, both with his elbow and the soft tone of voice Harry always uses when he want something. He’s learned from the best, after all. “You can tell me, was she hot?

Lupin glares at him. “I don’t need to tell you anything Black, so back the hell off.” For a second, Sirius is confused by the use of his surname, but he can recognize a touchy subject when he sees it.

“Fine then, I’ll just ask Pettigrew.” Sirius lies between his teeth, his thumb fingering the ring with the old nervous tic he has never managed to get rid of. He hopes Lupin will fall for it, since Sirius isn’t in the best of terms with Lupin’s second in command, especially since that time a while ago when Sirius had stolen one of his roasted chickens in a bar, along with the ruby it had hidden on the inside. Lily had loved it, though.

Lupin rolls his eyes once again, and he rests his head on the wooden wall after a long sigh. “Fine. It’s Hamlet’s Ophelia. Will you shut up now and let me sleep?”

There’s silence for a minute, strained and awkward, as the shadows from the moving lamp change and surge on the walls. More silence, and then Sirius chokes on his laughter. Lupin pushes him, sends him to the ground, but Sirius keeps on laughing, hands around his stomach.

“You named your ship after a book!” Sirius says once speech returns to him, wiping stray tears with dirty fingers.

“Fuck off, it’s a beautiful name.”

“Yes, for beautifully pathetical girly Captains that swoon at the mention of literature!” Lupin actually growls at him, low and menacing, but Sirius refuses to be intimidated. It feels almost like friendly banter, like the one he has with James, and he’s not willing to give up whatever short actual emotional contact he’s had with the agressive Captain.

“Well, what kind of stupid name is the Lily, anyway?”

Ah no, that’s playing dirty. Sirius will never tolerate anyone bad-mouthing his sort of but not sister-in-law.

So he punches Lupin.

Gosh, that was such a difficult thing to write! I wanted to get them out of the room already, maybe to get Peter to find them, but it was getting too long. Up to you, now!

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He's learned from the best, wahaha! XD

It doesn't come as a surprise when Lupin punches back, but it does come as a surprise when he starts to laugh. It's a strange, childish kind of laugh, not cruel anymore, although there is a hint of mockery in it. Sirius likes it anyway.

"You punch like a girl, Black", Lupin smirks and wipes his face. "And you insult like a girl, Lupin", Sirius snaps back and kicks his leg, though feebly because he's tired. Again, it's like mock-fighting with James, only then he has to think about what happened earlier and it's definitely not like with James anymore.

He wraps his arms around his legs and chews on his lower lip, almost relieved Lupin has apparently forgotten about his question, when -

"So, the Lily. What's the secret, eh?" Lupin leans forward as well, clear eyes focusing on him like the eyes of a reflection in the mirror, never letting go, never moving away.

"I- I don't know", Sirius says, and stares at the floor. His fingers follow the pattern in the wood: lines that seem to glide out of view and collect behind the walls.

Lupin shifts next to him. "Liar", he says. Sirius frowns, there is something in his voice - and then he knows.

It's impatience. Lupin can't stand not knowing something, and Sirius has to grin at the thought, because he thinks he has just discovered a little weakness of the dear Captain.

"If you say so", he mutters, shrugging, and Lupin snorts and pulls at his shirt like a small boy. "What do I get if I tell you?" Sirius asks.

Slowly, a brutal grin flares up on Lupin's pretty face.

Sorry it's not that much, but this is such a nice place to stop. *evil grin* Yes, well, I was thinking we could let them suffer a little longer on the ship, it's so much fun letting them explore each other's pasts and everything... Just a question, do you want to include the nightmare idea (which would give us an excuse for hugs and clinging and blushes and maybe a reluctant "thanks" or something) or would you rather they are found sooner?

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We're actually achieving it! Remus is much more friendly now. He's much more fun all 'you, me, bed', though. About the nightmare, I think we've made poor Sirius suffer enough already, haven't we? they could get drunk off their asses, though, and admit of being in sweet, sweet love with each other. (maybe there's a hidden case full with rum bottles?)

“Other than smashing daily sex with me, you mean?” Sirius can feel that’s not exactly the comment that’s brought such a dangerous looking smile on Lupin’s face, but the prospect sounds like fun, so he plays along.

He brings his face closer to Lupin’s a grin of his own in place. “I can get that without having to spill any secrets at all, m’ dear captain,” He puts a kiss on Lupin’s mouth, subtle and quick. “You’re just full of shit if you don’t accept you want me too.”

Lupin laughs again, the open noise that’s toying with Sirius’ insides. Sirius receives a slow kiss on return, and suddenly the nasty Captain Lupin doesn’t look threatening at all. “I, my dear pet, take things as a man, even when it’s a frightening thing such as desire.” He moves a bit apart, but his body language still spells ‘just knock and you’ll be inside’ and Sirius so desperately wants to be in. “I’ve got a proposition for you.”

His tone is business-like, and Sirius doubts a bit, although he doesn’t let it show on his face. “So soon? Oh my, I’m not dressed for the occasion!” he says in a fairly good imitation of what Lily calls a girly voice, taking Lupin’s hands between his. “But yes, my dear, I shall be proud to call you my wife. May I call you Remusikinns?”

“Oh, sod off,” says Lupin as he pushes him, but Sirius can still see the smile. “This is important, so you better listen, pretty boy.” Sirius almost doesn’t hear him over his laughter, but when he recovers he sits in front of him with his legs crossed, trying to look as serious as he can be. Lupin still has that crazed smile that makes Sirius either want to run for his life or want to snog him senseless. They wait, the shadows flicker, and Lupin drops the bomb. “If you tell me why is it called the Lily – and mind you, I’ll know if you’re lying, I’ve already got an idea of the reason. If you tell me, I’ll take you as one of my crew.”

The world stops, for a moment, and Sirius can see himself dying slowly in that wretched house in England, blue with bruises and dreaming of heated lands with golden beaches and the treasures he could find with that legend, the mysterious Captain Lupin. It’s all he’s ever dreamt of, and the possibility, the actual possibility feels like a death weight over his shoulder. There’s temptation, and then there’s the memory of that time Harry had hidden his father’s glasses and James had fallen into the water.

There’s no way he could betray them for a silly schoolboy dream.

“No.” he states, resolution made.

“What?” asks Lupin looking bewildered.

Should we add Sirius' parents into the mix? there must be a reason he ran away from home, right? Well, go ahead!

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Darling, this was so wonderful, I am tempted to write the next part - but for the sake of our story, I will delay that until tomorrow, when I can think and type clearly again. Wah. Lupin's "proposition"? Just perfect. A brilliant idea, Ale. ♥

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*loves the new icon and steals music*

and small (which is good since I suck at calculating space)
Same problem here. But still I have to wait some days to be actually allowed to drive and omg it's snowing and the streets are a mess.

About the car: Hard decision to quit with things you love. ;) But a new car would be probably better because... well it's new. ;) Plus a radio is a must in cars. I can't even sit in a car without music. ;)
But I probably would keep the chevy - because it's chevy and you like it...
hard decision...

Can't wait to read your new stories.
I thought about writing new stuff. Could you challenge me because I don't have any particular idea. A word or a phrase...

Ah, my streets are a mess even without any snow, but that's mostly because of vacation and people coming back from the beach or whatever is they went.

Well, my chevy is actually newer, since the focus is 2001, and it's been treated farily bad. I'm almost 100 percent sure of keeping the chevy, 'cause then I went and drove it and it was oh so lovely. (except for the part in which I almost crash with the car behind me. That doesn't count!) About the radio, I must start saving for it, I'll have to drive half and hour or more everyday to get to school, and I just can't stand being without music.

A challenge sounds like fun, let me see... H/D, and snow white, 'cause even when I'm not crazy about that fairy tale, the imagery drives me nuts and I write/draw about it all the time.

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Erm, you know how I said that I write about snow white all the time?

Well, I did it again today. Do it anyway, it's always great seeing what two people can do with the same promt.

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I already started writing it but I guess it's gonna take me sometime to finish it.

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Oh don't worry, take your time.

I'm all anxious to read it!

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Starting a new comment now, because it got a little hard to read that way. ;)

"No", Sirius repeats, louder this time, and draws back a little. A strange feeling tightens his throat, he can't tell what it is, but it's strong like alcohol and heavy like desire, and he can't help but look away biting his lip. He's aware that he just denied himself a golden opportunity, the idea of the very same having saved him from that fucking house in London with parents that treated him so clinically that any stray dog would have loved him more.

Lupin is silent. Sirius can hear his breathing, a little harsh from the surprise and the suspense that only a "OhpleaseyesI'lldoanythingit'shiswifeLilyPottertheyevenhaveasonhejustturnedeight" would have loosened.

"Alright", Lupin suddenly grinds out, "what the hell do you want, then?"

Sirius screws his eyes shut. Everything, he thinks, nothing you can give me. His hands curl into fists at his sides, it's painful but necessary. "Nothing I won't tell you", he pants, and all he wants to do is fall asleep right there and then and forget about silly old dreams, daily beatings and never being enough, never being good enough.

"There's got to be something you want", Lupin says and touches his turned face. "Something you want so desperately it makes you ache inside." As if he knows, as if he's any idea - "No", Sirius moans, tries to clear his mind and not think about the more than warm body in front of him.

A hand takes his chin roughly and turns him around, though, and he can see Lupin is red-faced, anger-raw and helpless, looking like a child on the verge of throwing himself onto the floor and breaking into tears. "Lily... - it's a woman, isn't it", Lupin growls. Sirius tries a totally different strategy - he concentrates on the slightly swollen lips as they move, the sheen of sweat on his smooth skin, the way a blond curl of hair touches his cheekbone.

"You", Sirius whispers, "will never find out", and his hands cup Lupin's face, holding it tightly, heat under his fingers pulsing like the ocean and he crushes their lips together and presses his tongue into Lupin's mouth.

When they break apart, Lupin is furious, and devastated. "Fuck you", he whispers, "fuck you", and a gentle tear slips down his cheek that he wipes away with such force that his sleeves leave a smudge of dirt on his face.

I was thinking more along the lines of Lupin with the nightmare, but it's okay if you'd rather not. We absolutely have to let Lily find them though - first they hear voices, then Lily bursts into the room, yells "James! I found him!" and rushes over to Sirius to fuss over his injury, then she notices Lupin... "Or rather them", she mutters and Lupin stares at her as if he's seen a ghost and she tells him not to stare at her like that because it's impolite and looks very stupid... or something like that... somewhere, James and Harry come in too and start to fuss over Sirius and Lupin feels incredibly left out but he'd rather bite his own tongue off than say anything, of course... or... I don't know. What do you say? Oh! And Sirius has to be so relieved to see her that he cries "Lily!" and then the secret is out, of course. *g*

Mmm, bastard-y Sirius, me loves!

They sleep. Or they pretend they do, in any case, desperately trying to regulate their breathing as they lay with their backs to the other one. Sirius is using his shirt as a make-shift pillow, the wooden ground putting too much pressure on his wounded leg. He groans quietly, shifting, restless, but he refuses to turn around.

He tries taking his mind off (everything. Lupin. Teeth around his lower lip.) things by worrying about just how are they going to get out of this wretched room in a ghost ship. They’re out of gunpowder, and while Lupin still appears to have a bullet left, it would be useless without it. Opening it with swords wouldn’t do, as it would take several days, and there doesn’t seem to be any food on board.

He shifts again, a tiny movement born of uneasiness of the silence, stretching and charged with sparks of anger and broken trust.

“Would you just roll over and be done with your pathetic noises already?” comes Lupin’s annoyed voice, and Sirius obeys him just so he can kick him on the back of his knees. Lupin grunts, but other than that he doesn’t react. Sirius closes his eyes, but the flickering light on the ceiling makes his eyelids look the shade of a sleep-uninviting orange.

He clicks his tongue.

Lupin’s shoulders tense at the sound, so he does it again. And again. And again, until Lupin stands up abruptly, looking quite aggravated. Sirius puts his best innocence expression in his face, not cowering at Lupin’s glare. “Oh, fuck it.” Lupin finally says as he paces up and down the room, looking every bit as claustrophobic as Sirius feels.

“Why so much anger, m’dear Captain?” says Sirius from the floor, a smirk on his face.

Lupin doesn’t answer. Instead, he kicks one of the moldy boxes laying at the corner of the room, sending it hurtling at the same time as he mutters something along the lines of “Bastard.” The box opens with a thud, and a cloud of dust rises while the tingling of glass fills Sirius’ ears.

Two bottles roll across the dusty floor, and both of them stare at the amber-colored liquid. “Rum,” says Lupin, and the two man stare at each other.

“What the hell,” says Sirius, and reaches for the nearest bottle.

Oh, that sounds so very nice! I think we've found our ending. So, I was thinking of the beginning, what about if they both tried to board the same ship at the same time, only to discover it's abandoned, and Sirius' injury (since now we've made it too big to be an actual splinter XD) can be from one of Remus' crew. Then they get locked in the cargo storeroom for God knows what reason. What do you think?

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Oh, you. You desperately want them to get smashed, don't you? *gg* And now you leave me to deal with two drunken pups! Great! Wahaha.

Twenty minutes later, he has to admit he forgot that he, in spite of trying to drink James under the table several nights when Lily's pissed at them for whatever reason, is not a strong drinker. "I'm sh-shite atthissss whole p-pirate business", he hiccups, halfway through his second bottle, and Lupin roars with laughter on the floor. Sirius doesn't know how the hell he got there or how much he drank, but he can tell with absolute certainty that Captain Remus J. Lupin is plastered like a plaster cast.

"Soooo...", Lupin mumbles, his mouth seems to get stuck around the o and he snorts, sloshing rum across his shirt. "What's ole Potty up to, eh?"

Sirius can't explain why he finds this incredibly amusing, but he does. He collapses into a giggling heap and it takes him quite a few moments to calm down again. "Oh, you know", he finally says. The words are so heavy on his tongue that they pull him forward, closer to Lupin, who looks more kissable than ever. "Sh-shagging? Bombing? Genene-generalll... generally pirateing around?" Lupin mutters, voice dissolving into liquid honey. It's so silly and adorable Sirius has to swallow. Captain Remus J. Lupin is never silly and adorable.

"Got it", he says and leans in for a burning, alcohol-fuelled kiss, a clumsy shuffling of tongues and teeth and lips and it leaves them breathless and dizzy. ["Floor", Sirius pants as the wooden planks approach quickly, and when his head hits the floor and his body curls up drunkenly, he's already asleep.]

Hey, listen, I don't really know what you want them to do - why don't you write that? You can pick up where the kiss ends, if it fits better, and don't write too much, just what you had in mind. Then you can let them go to sleep and if it fits, I'll include the nightmare thing, and if not, I'll leave that and let Lily appear. Deal?

Oh and, I like your beginning. Maybe Pettigrew himself attacks Sirius and hits him with the sword, but Lupin stops him... why? Perhaps Sirius was trying to hide something on the ship, something that concerns Lily and Harry? Or no, he was trying to find something there, as perhaps it's an old ship of James, where Harry was born or something...? And Sirius doesn't fight back because he's found it already and doesn't want to damage it, or he doesn't want them to see it, and it's in that room and he blocks the door and Lupin tells his crew to go back to their own ship, then pushes him aside and barges into the room and Sirius after him and then the door clicks shut and they can't open it. Meanwhile, a storm or I don't know, something makes Lupin's crew leave... do you have an idea? Or do you like that at all?

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Make that "in spite of trying to outdrink James several nights when Lily was pissed at them for whatever reason" - wasn't sure how to say what I wanted to say. ^^' I think it's outdrink. Or is it?

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I didn't actually know what I wanted to happen, but oh well, I think it's fairly okay.

Sirius leans in for another kiss, but he misses, and he ends up drooling all over Lupin’s cheek. They both laugh, alcohol-smelling breath tingling Sirius’ skin, warm and obsession inducing. “You know, Lupin, you make have these strange butterflies in my stomach. It’s demeaning and silly, and I feel so fucking young with you, and yet,” Sirius stops for dramatic effect, raising his fist. “And yet, I’m falling for you. Isn’t that the funniest thing ever?”

He giggles, in that girly fashion he’s always hated, but seeing Lupin’s eerie expression of doped happiness it doesn’t really matter at all. Lupin hauls him closer, kissing his ear and sucking at his earlobe with a crazed intensity and the largest smile Sirius has ever seen on his face. There’s a giggle, from the mouth of the fearless Captain this time, and the closeness to his ear makes Sirius shudder involuntarily. “You are silly, pretty boy. And I’ll tell you a secret, just don’t you dare tell anyone, understood?” Sirius nods hurriedly, and Lupin keeps on muttering into his ear. “I like you loads too. And what’s worse, I actually like your mindless bantering!” Lupin’s giggles are sort of scary, but Sirius doesn’t mind as his mind flies away from him and his toes curl on their own.

“Well you’ve got a bloody horrible way to show it, you know?” Sirius says all petulant pride and childish impulses. “You might want to try being nicer to me, you asshole.”

“If I give you the best –my, forgive me,- the first blowjob of your life, will you stop it with the whiny act?” Lupin kisses him again, tongue moving with the promise of ecstasy and whiteness behind his eyelids.

And enthusiast nod, and nervousness starts to spread in Sirius’ entrails, as Lupin slides across his body, slowly, precise, even when he stumbles a couple of times. Lupin smiles at him with his head lowered, eyes shadowed and dark.

And that, is the moment Sirius’ treacherous body chooses to pass out.

I like that idea, only both crews can board at the same time, from opposite sides of the boat, and then suddenly they find themselves face to face with this rivals and neither wants to leave the boat because of their damned prides even when they know it's abandoned. As of Peter being the one injuring him, I like that idea very much!

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adkajdhswe Neka look at that.

captain

captain

He could almost be our Captain Lupin, couldn't he? I mean, I've got him pinned to my wardrobe since forever, but I never NOTICED. That's Incubus singer Brandon Boyd, by the way.

He awakes with a sneeze. Dust and sunlight seem to creep into every crack and crease of him, the insides of his head feel banged against a London brick wall and the soft buck-and-roll motion of the ship beneath him makes his stomach dizzy. It's almost like his first day on the Lily, he thinks and cringes at the memory of throwing up into the ocean, while James's crew snickered behind him.

Moaning weakly, he stirs and opens his eyes. A warm body is curled around him like waves around a swimmer, breathing softly atop his chest, and one leg has slipped between Sirius's. "What the-", Sirius mutters, his head answers with a semi-painful throb. It doesn't help that Lupin's firm thigh is pressing against his morning erection -

Wait. Lupin?

All of a sudden, Sirius is fully awake, and he can't breathe. Scraps of memory whirl around in his head like coloured bits of paper, promoting drunken kisses and slurred words. "Oh, fuck", he whispers and drags a hand across his face. The taste in his mouth is stale and rotten, he feels dirty and cramped, and that erection becomes more and more uncomfortable, especially as Lupin is still soundly asleep and moves a little from time to time.

Carefully, Sirius pushes him off, and he whimpers a bit. The infamous captain Sirius has always feared and admired now looks like a small child, hair flung into his face by movement and lips ever-so-slightly pursed, and for the first time, Sirius notices the delicate golden earring and the scar that disappears beneath his collar. He can't help but brush a strand of hair out of his face and think, Damn, and I made him come.

It's getting painful to ignore his body's needs by now: his throat is dry, he's hungry and unwashed, and he almost wishes he could piss and come at the same time because he can't decide which one is more urgent. Restless, he paces the length of the room, presses his hands against the thick window glass for what feels like the thousandth time. There's no denying it: They are still stuck.

He sighs and slides down the wall, his foot hits an empty bottle of rhum. His look skims the room, comes to rest on Lupin's sleeping form. When he feels the violent but not unpleasant, prickling warmth in his belly and his breathing quickens, he closes his eyes exasperatedly and gives in, shoving a hand down the front of his linen trousers to take care of at least one problem.

Somehow, it's all very easy suddenly. He has fantasized about Captain R. J. Lupin before, yes, but this is different: this is reproducing real events, and he remembers Lupin's touch as clearly as he can remember how to walk, speak, write. He makes a few desperate, cut-off sounds, tries to stifle them in his elbow and opens his eyes just a little bit again to see him.

Only Lupin is not sleeping anymore.

Ah, such a nice place to stop. Well, I was thinking we shouldn't let this evolve into a great big sex scene again, but maybe Sirius comes at exactly that moment just because he's so turned on by Lupin watching him or by that stare or whatever, so he can't really hide what he's been doing anymore and, of course, gets teased mercilessly about it. Yeah and then... then perhaps they should finally be found. I was intending to let Lily appear now anyways, but this idea kind of pushed itself between, and... uh. ^^ Hope you liked it at least a little. And sorry for not continuing this for so long.

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*sputters like mad* Damn you but I can't really think straight with that picture in my mind *drools some more* I really liked the idea (Lupin watching + Moan-y Sirius = hotness), but I'll just continue this whenever I'm slightly saner. Hopefully, tonight, when a bit of porn is always needed XD

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Hehe, yeah, it's pretty hot, isn't it? :3 Oooh, I was hoping you'd like the idea, because I... well. *melts* Just imagining the look in Lupin's eyes... woah...

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December